Monday, May 10, 2010

Rest

My body is wrecked.

And it's Jillian Michael's fault.

I started the 30 day Shred yesterday. Holy crap.
Don't get me wrong - it's GREAT. After I finished it, I felt great - exhausted and energized at the same time. But, at least until I get myself in a little better shape, the workout is a challenge.

Prior to 30DS I did the dog jog. After only about a week and a half of getting out and jogging, I'm really amazed to say that I can really feel my stamina has improved. Well, the new shoes help that incredibly, but I can tell that my body is moving with a more fluid motion. I am enjoying it, because I can go at my own pace, without anyone telling me I'm too slow. And, I have a companion.

Oh that's right - today's entry is called rest. That's what I'm doing. I thought about jogging, and I thought about doing the 30DS - but when I say my body is wrecked - I had a hard time getting up from a chair and getting up the stairs. My poor knee hates me workout routine. I want to give it a moment to chill before I put it back in the game.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

I can RUN!

I took the shoes out for a short interval run tonight. I know I need to break them in slowly, but after thinking about it for so long, I just had to do it...try it out, and see if my feet would really move with this new technology under them.

Oh. My. God.
I can RUN.

I can move my body, throw my weight at the ground and work my heart without feeling like my ankles are going to collapse underneath me.

I am still slow. Out of shape. And oh, very, very slow.

But I can run. And that's the first step.

(Thank goodness I have a little hairless dog who likes to run by my side)

Shoes

This morning, I walked out of DB Shoes (a these-shoes-are-out-of-season-therefore-50% off kind of place) with a pair of tennis shoes in my hands. I sat down on the bench outside the store and took off the pair of shoes that were on my feet - and replaced them with the new shoes. I then walked over to the garbage can, held the old shoes up, took one last look and with a sigh, tossed them in the can.

Those shoes were tennis (yes, the sport tennis) shoes. And they were over 12 years old.

They're the last pair of athletic shoes I've ever bought. And I didn't even buy them - my Dad did, because I was 14 years old.

Today, I've started moving.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

About the Girl


This is me. I'm a photographer, musician and designer. I have been fat for the majority of my life. Luckily, this has not stopped me from being a pretty confident, kick ass person, but lately I've been really feeling like I'm inside some unfamiliar body. A fatsuit, if you will.

When I think about myself in my head, I am not the girl I see in the mirror. This has been a blessing and a curse. For too long, I've been able to imagine myself very differently than what I really am - it kept me fairly happy for the most part, but kept me in denial about letting my body go out of my control.

I am 26 years old, and at the prime of my youth. I am sick of feeling like I'm hindered by my weight. It's partially about how I look - but it's more about how I feel. I've been punishing myself and consoling my soul with food. It's not an excuse anymore. It's done.