4/14/11 - Part One

David and I had a trip planned, along with our friends Dave and Cho, to visit Red Rocks Canyon in southern California for a weekend camping trip. It's a long drive, so we were scheduled to leave at 5am on Friday, April 15th, but we'd meet the night before around 8:00 to pack up the SUV our friends rented to take down south.

Thursday, April 14th was a busy day. I worked in Sausalito until 4:30, drove back to our house in Richmond and picked up David to drop him off at band practice in Oakland. Since we only have one car, and I needed to drop Hank off with the weekend babysitter, Dave was to get a ride home from his good friend and bandmate, Alex, whose parents live just a couple of blocks away from our house. This was a common practice since Alex often stayed with his parents. This particular night, he needed to do some things there so it was easy for him to drop David off on the way. I'll always remember David shutting the car door and trotting away, drumsticks in hand, toward the practice space.

I stopped in Piedmont to drop off Hank, chatting with Sara (the babysitter) for a good half an hour before heading back to Richmond, stopping at Target (to pick up my sleeping bag) along the way. I got back to the house around 7:00, and started organizing the rest of our camping supplies and putting food in to tupperware. At 7:20, I got a call from David saying that they were dropping off Brian, the band's guitar player, at his house, and then heading toward Richmond. That meant I should expect David home in about a half an hour. "Try not to stay too long" I remember saying. "You still need to finish your food projects for camping before Dave and Cho get here with the SUV."

I continued what I was doing and didn't look at the clock until 8:30. Eight THIRTY? Where the heck is David? I started to get a little upset, because I didn't want Dave and Cho to get to the house with the truck without David being here and ready. I grabbed my phone and called him. It rang. It rang all the way to the voice mail message, to which I thought nothing of. "They're probably chatting and he didn't hear it-" I thought, since that happened often.

So I called again. And again, no answer. That worried me a little. "Maybe they are still inside the warehouse, and can't get reception". I thought. I decided to give it 10 minutes and call back.

And, 10 minutes later, I called again - and again, no answer. I called 5 times in a row. I started to really get worried. David never leaves me hanging. He has never ever not called when something came up, when he was going to be late, or when he was out. It just wasn't like him. Were they stuck in traffic? I realized maybe his phone had died, so I called Alex's phone.

No answer.

It was then that I realized something was very wrong.

I got on the computer and Tweeted (because, you know, that's what I do.)

Then, I gchatted Josh, who was online. "Can you call David?" I asked. "He's not answering, and I want to make sure it's not my phone".

"Of course" he responded, and after a pause, he wrote back "No answer. Where is he at?"

I divulged that he had been at band practice and that Alex would be dropping him off at home, but that they were seriously late. Josh looked up Alex's parent's address, to see if we should maybe stop there to see if the boys were, or possibly to get Alex's address in Oakland.

Then I had a terrible thought. I knew I had to check the Highway Patrol accident reports. That's...what you do when someone who is supposed to be driving is missing.

So I did.

And that's when the night took a turn.

Scrolling through, I saw a 2 car accident involving a truck and an car on the 880 corridor that had happened around 8pm. Which would have been exactly the time when Alex and Dave would have been there.

Almost instantly, Josh sent a message: "Do you know what car they were driving?"

Alex's pickup truck had been having problems, and he'd wasn't always driving it. The week before, he'd been driving his dad's Volvo station wagon. Sometimes, he had his boss's giant truck.

"I don't know." I responded. "I thought he had the Volvo".

After another short pause, Josh sent another message. "I'm coming over".

By this point, my body was shaking so hard I could barely type. Off and on, I'd feel the burning sensation of tears. The shaking was so intense I could feel it in my bones. I opened the doors and windows, so that any sound of a car or light from headlights would become apparent sooner. I pictured the Volvo pulling up, the passenger door swinging open, and David running out, apologetically.

But, in reality, the CHP website scrolled along the screen of my Macbook in bright blue.

* 2 vehicles involved

* truck ovrtned. Pssger trped

* red chevy pickup 2 pssgr

* 2 pssger trped unresp

I kept calling. I called Dave, I called Alex. I left messages. I called Brian, who didn't answer.

* wh kia stopped

* pssger still trapped

* ambulence responding

Dave and Cho arrived. I was crying and shaking. Cho said, "What's wrong?"

"David is missing. I think he's been in an accident" I responded.

"There was an accident on 880 - but it wasn't your car, " She said.

"They're in Alex's car. "

"I didn't see any cars - it looked like an SUV!" She said. "I think he's ok, I bet he's just stuck".

* debris in all lns

* SIGALERT needed

* 880 closed bth dir debris

Josh arrives behind them. "Do you know if they had Alex's truck? Because the truck invovled in the accident was a red Chevy - and that's what Alex had, if they were in it".

* tow resp

As I pace, the phone rings. I shriek. It's Brian.

"Nissa, what's going on? Are you ok?" He asked.

"No. David and Alex are missing. Do you know what vehicle they were in tonight when they dropped you off?"

"Yeah, it was Alex's truck - red...either a Toyota or a Chevy, maybe?"

* cancel tow/debris rem evidence

* coroner disp

*coroner/scene

9:30. Do I call the hospitals? Do I call the police? Who do I call? I know, at this point, I know, that my husband has a 50/50 chance of being dead. I know that one of the boys in that truck did not make it through this accident that at this point I know included the vehicle my husband was riding in.

Dave picked up his phone and called the CHP. I remember his fearful eyes behind a strong, calm tone. "I'll call to see if they have any info". He took the phone outside.

"He hasn't been incarcerated or hospitalized". He responded, calmly.

Somehow that didn't calm me. I was still pacing, thinking, trying to process. What do I do? Who do I call next? The feeling of helplessness that I could do nothing but sit there and wait for something to happen was choking me and it took everything in my power to breathe.

10:00.

10:10.

10:12. The phone rings. It's a restricted number. "HELLO" I practically scream in to the mouthpiece.

"Is this Nissa Brehmer?" The caller asks.

"Yes!" I respond.

"This is the social worker at Highlands Hospital. I am calling to tell you that your husband is here..."

"OH MY GOD, IS HE ALIVE?" I scream, unable to control my volume.

"...dear, please just let me tell you, he is here, he is in stable condition.."

"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU can I see him? Where is he?"

"Highlands Hospital. You may see him. He is stable."

I managed to thank her again - she had a soothing and helpful voice - before dropping the phone and screaming, "He is alive!" to my friends, who grab me and hold me as I burst in to tears.